What is the purpose of the Grief
Recovery® Outreach Program for grievers?
The primary goal is to help you "grieve & complete" relationships that have ended and/or changed. Successful
GriefRecovery® allows you to have fond memories without having them continue to turn painful & helps you to reach a more peaceful & productive place in your own life. In addition, you regain the ability to begin new relationships and be present in them rather than attempting to replace or avoid past relationships.
How is GriefRecovery® different from therapy?
Since there are many different types of therapies, it is difficult to give a simple answer. Grief is the normal & natural reaction to loss; grief is not itself, a pathological condition or a personality disorder. In additon, grief is 100% emotional in nature. It is not methodical & rational. Most therapy is analytical by design and can be useful for understanding, however, our head & our hearts don't always connect. Attempting to solve the often irrational feelings of grief with our head can lead to frustration & isolation. Therefore, GriefRecovery® is primarily an educational or re-educational approach based on the fact that most of us were never taught or have never witnessed effective tools for dealing with grief. These tools allow grievers the opportunity to focus completely on their broken hearts with absolute honesty & without explanation or analysis. GriefRecovery® is powerfully effective on its own. However, participants who are also receiving counseling or therapy find that it is enhanced by their experience in the program. In fact, many therapists refer clients to GriefRecovery® Outreach Programs.
When is it time to do my grief work?
1. This is one of the most difficult questions facing grievers in our society. Part of the problem stems from the biggest single inaccurate idea that we are socialized to believe: that "time heals all wounds." Time itself does not heal. It's what we do with that time that provides the opportunity for healing to occur. Correct actions can help discover & complete unfinished emotional business & identify unresolved grief. When can I begin to discover & complete all the of the things in past relationships that I wish had ended "differently, better, or more" & all the broken "hopes, dreams & expectations" about the future? The answer is immediately.
2. It is time immediately following a loss (divorce included) that our memories of those relationships are most vivid & accurate. Even through the perceived "numbness" that often accompanies most loss, there is easy & instant access to both finished & unfinished emotional business in the relationship. Waiting to to grief work is potentially dangerous. Reason being, that most of us have heard the fact that grievers tend to create larger-than-life memory pictures in which they either "enshrine or bedevil" the person who died or is estranged. This phenomenon increases with time making it more difficult to discover the "truth" within the relationship.
3. Although starting your grief work as soon as possible is ideal, many of us have carried the pain of multiple losses & unresolved grief that occured during our childhood, not having the tools to complete our grieving. We have managed to "cope" but are living a life that is limited by that grief & is often not identified as grief. It may look like depression, anxiety, workaholism, chemical dependancy, or broken relationships; but may actually be the result of unresolved grief. The tools & principles learned in GriefRecovery® are absolutely beneficial when applied to losses that occured in the past, no matter how long ago.
What is the difference between GriefRecovery® & other loss & grief programs?
Many grief groups provide a helpful function by offering an environment for people to verbalize some of the thoughts & feelings they are experiencing following a loss. In addition, these groups are often designed to group people together by "type of loss" creating a "support group". While there is undoubtedly benefit to that kind of opportunity, it is often not enough. Generally, it will have what we call "short-term" benefits & not actually address the root of "incomplete emotional communication" that sustains unresolved grief. It can also perpetuate the idea that only someone who has experienced a simliar loss can "relate" and can lead to comparing our loss experiences. Because grief is unique to the individual, this can be confusing. No one else feels exactly the way you do about your loss. The GriefRecovery® Outreach Program addresses significant loss of any kind and the unique emotional incompleteness, so there is long-term benefit from completing the pain associated with the loss experience.